Higher Power

The term higher power is huge in AA. For most it is God, the way only they can imagine him. For some it is the universe, for some it is energy. For some its even just a faceless nameless power stronger than them. I’ve even heard people say its the group they meet with.

For me it is more complicated, yet extremely simple. I cannot imagine my God as a person. There is not a single man in the sky watching over all of us. But, there is something. The world, in all its beauty, did not create itself. My path was written before I existed. I have gone astray from it more than once. I have fallen more than once. But when I quiet my mind, I can understand my higher power.

I pray. Who or what I pray to, I have no idea. And in my opinion, that knowing is not necessary. It doesn’t matter to me. Because whatever I pray to, it works. It calms my mind. It helps mt find peace in my chaos. I don’t have to put a title or name on my higher power. I just have to trust it. I pause, and listen.

And what a relief it is that I am not responsible for everything. I can hand over any problem or fear to my higher power. Temporarily or permanently. I can breathe easy and sleep better.

I used to answer to booze. My false higher power. I used to give my problems to booze. You can imagine how that worked out. My problems were returned to me ten fold, when I was even weaker and unable to deal with them.

So, I accept my higher power. My nameless faceless higher power that brings me peace in the middle of the night. That opens my eyes to the beauty that surrounds me. That helps me carry my burdens and convinces me that everything will work out, however it is supposed to. I am grateful.

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